China (Your Police at Least) - You Suck

BEIJING - Two journalists covering an attack by alleged Muslim separatists in China have been beaten by police.

An official apology has now been issued over the incident in western China but, at the same time, Beijing set new obstacles for news outlets wanting to report from Tiananmen Square.
The International Olympic Committee, which last week only partially succeeded in getting China to unblock some internet sites after journalists raised a furore, said it would look into the new rules that require reporters to make appointments to do reports at Tiananmen.

The Japanese government and the Foreign Correspondents Club of China condemned the roughing up of the Japanese newsmen who were covering the terrorist attack on police in Xinjiang province.

Liu Yaohua, Xinjiang's top police official, said: "The Japanese reporters violated the rules of China by forcing their way into a military area. The act was not well-justified, and they should accept the consequences.

Heres an idea. Go stick that Olympic torch up your arse China (Your Police at Least). It really tears my anus that you get to host the olympics because you are without a doubt the biggest Fuckstick of a country. Beautiful place, good food, amazing culture but wake the hell up and sort your act out. If your didnt have everyones testicles in your hand bag of private debt then you would be bent over and given a good rodgering with the pole of Democracy.

Beautiful place, good food and amazing culture though.

Chicks Dig Scars

I have heard this adage a number of times from friends, TV shows, radio, movies but to be totally honest i have never met a female remotely interested in the scars i have acquired. There are some pretty impressive ones as well.

Ill go through them in chronological order:

1. Scar running down my cheek bone - Done by Molemums fingernails when cleaning me as a new born.


2. Scar on stomach - I was picking the fluff off a tea cosy and eating it as a toddler. Tea cosy was over a teapot on the table, i pulled it over myself, hey presto big burn scar.


3. Bite marks in right shin - Done as a young by a dog named "Rip" that lived next door.


4. Forehead scar - Ran over by a car on the way to school.


5. Hernia scar - From surgery when 9 years old.


6. Scar down right elbow - Play ground scrap.


7. Forearm scar - Scrapping with a mate and he tore a piece of flesh out my arm, he accidentally swallowed it. We are forever bonded over that, hes Maori as well......go figure.


8. Scar on eyebrow - Scrap at Uni.


9. Scar on thigh - Combination of stealing shot glasses and falling off a 3 story building at Uni.


10. Wang - Surgery of the wang.


11. Numerous small cut and burn scars around hands.

Now that in my mind a bloody good list of scars. Plenty of conversation value in them amongst the right kind of company but absolutely without a doubt has never stirred the interest of a female....just guys. Much the same as guys are far more interested in their own tackle than any female is, i would suggest the same applies to scars.

Quotes For The Day - Updated

I just don't do this enough so i wont be doing it again after today. I feel these last two are incredibly relevant to the story below. Enjoy!

Piss In The Wind

Doing something that is a complete waste of effort and time for which you can expect no results and may even backfire on you.

e.g. Asking Vero to do their fuckin job is like pissing in the wind.

S.F.A

sweet fuck all. Amounting to nothing or very little.

E.G. Wow what a waste, Vero did SFA this week about my damn floor boards.....again!!.

Vero Insurance - Fix My Floor Boards NOW Damnit!

One of the things i have been killing myself over these last few weeks is getting Vero Insurance to replace the floor boards in the laundry and bathroom.

The Felton Mixer had sprung a leak behind the wall boards, kindly racking my power bill up to $380 which coincidentally brought my attention to the problem. Naturally gravity drew all this valuable hot water down to my floor boards causing them to turn to "Weetbix". Note this is not the edible variety full of fibre but rather the state of Custom Wood once water is absorbed.

Now i have had the Mixer replaced, sadly my very heavy water tank is still sitting on the sodden floor boards and according to the plumber could literally fall through at any moment. With a claim limit of $3000 on "Gradual Damage" I sense that if this were to occur the cost of repair would be well over $3000 and I would find myself bent over the said water tank, with my ass hanging out my tweeds paying for the added costs.

I know my options but in this particular forum they are boring and irrelevant!

Screw you Vero, I shake my fist at you in disgruntled frustration.

Helen if you don’t recall my phone calls i am going to set fire to the Elevator entrance on the claims floor. Do you want that Helen? Do you? Do you want a fire started on your floor? Huh? Come Wednesday im going to Vietch the whole bloody lot of you until someone either returns my calls or fixes my floor boards.

Either that or ill just try calling again. Or i might just go down four floors and yell at you in person. Up to you fatty!

grumble grumble grumble..........

Resignation

Oh sweet Jesus, Buddha, Sponge bob.

How good did it feel to hand in my resignation? Soooooooo good.

You know that feeling when you have needed to piss for 5 hours, but you have held it in, and then you finally get to piss and you moan your ass off with ecstasy as 5 hours of beer exits you in one of the most relieving and oddly pleasurable moments in your life.

If your in the men’s you kind of get a look of jealousy, they know what your on about. If your at home you get told to be quite because the neighbours can hear you and its inappropriate.

Well I had that moment today. I’m off for a liquid lunch followed up by work drinks in the wine loft, followed up with some Guinness at O’Hagan’s.

From China With Ruv

With running two posts on Asians in one day i believe I'm running the risk of appearing a racist. Regardless this is an article shamelessly poached from 236.


China will pay you to stop all that annoying "grieving"

With the world preparing to watch the Beijing Olympics during the CSI: Miami commercial breaks, China is making sure its people appear to be one big, happy family by asking people to not publicly mourn earthquake victims.

Yes, with the all eyes on China, the nation wants the world to know it has changed its secretive ways. That's why instead of killing dissenters unhappy with the government, it's offering to pay them off.

While this seems harsh via the stuffy lens of the New York Times, Chinese officials have actually started a friendly public awareness campaign urging citizens to mourn in their inside voices. We've translated a few for you.

African SpongeBob