Thursday, August 28, 2008

Cyanide and Happiness

Last Day At Work!!!!

T-Minus 2 hours until i go too O'Hagans and get pantst on Guinness for the rest of the day. I have my drinking belt on and im ready for a whole lot of cursing and spit balling. If you have trouble finding me I'm the guy in the blue shirt with the big grin on his face.

If you do find me, come ask me what i used to do for a crust. I'm no longer contractually obliged to keep secrets. Boo ya!

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Spain Makes Sure They Medal High In The Racist 400

It looks like the 31-point blowout the US Men’s Basketball team handed the Chinese delegation yesterday won’t be the most embarrassing thing the home Basketball team will face this Olympics.

That honor of offense goes to the Spaniards, and even without playing a game. This image is from a full page ad that ran in the sports daily Marca today. As you can see, it’s Spain’s Men’s basketball team slanting their eyes to show the world that respect for other teams is out the door. They’re going for gold, baby—feelings are for Bronze medalists!

No one involved in the advert appears to have considered it inappropriate nor contemplated the manner in which it could be interpreted in China and elsewhere. No offence (sic) was intended by the advert, but whether the Chinese see it that way is a different matter and it is likely to provoke more criticism at a delicate time for Spanish sport.

The failure to recognise the potential consequences is striking in the light of the problems Spain has had with issues of race and the Spanish Olympic committee’s continued desire to host the Games in Madrid in 2016 or 2020.

Oh, Spain. When will you learn that sports are about respect and not making fun of Asian basketball players… or black race car drivers… or black soccer players… um, they might want to rethink that 2020 time-frame. It’s going to take a lot more time before they stop being their own worst enemy.

China - You're A Disgrace

I'm not sure if anyone has been watching the sailing or wind surfing but WHAT-THE -HELL is that green crap on top of the water (algae?). Its so nasty the athletes actually go around it, but it hasn't had one mention from the commentators. Are they under some obligation not to slam the disgusting conditions? Are China under the impression that if they don't bring it up then the question wont be asked?

I hear this critter was found by one of the support crews.

Things the All Seeing Molerat didnt See

While this farce of an Olympic event rolls on i should probably keep an update list of things i hadn't predicted.

  • CGI Olympic ceremony's - Possibly done by the same people who faked the moon landing? Did it really happen?
  • Lip sinking during the opening ceremony - All Asians look the same to me so i still don't see the problem.
Let me know if i missed anything else.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Roll On the Olympics

Before the Olympics kicks off i feel that it is entirely appropriate to make some overly disastrous and or inappropriate predictions.

  1. At least one terrorist attack during the games.

  2. At least two violent confrontations between police and protesters.

  3. At least one athlete attacked or detained by police during or straight after the Olympics.

  4. Opening Ceremony - Heaps of dragons and loads of Chinese adults dressed like children.

  5. At least 4 athletes will go home before the Olympics ends due to the disgusting conditions.

  6. The lighting of the Olympic Flame will be edited out so as not to incite fires being lit throughout China in an act of disobediance or free thought.

  7. Chinese officials will be sodomising each other in a Karaoke bar somewhere whilst watching the Olympic flame be lit.......Dirty Sanchez anyone? Keep an eye on YouTube.

I would put money on all of the above with the exception of the last one.

Unlike Voting for Helen