Sunday, July 27, 2008

Dickipedia - A Wiki of Dicks

Gidday,

Something that has been holding my interest a great deal over the last few weeks is this website.


Its got some great stuff in there. Its a testament to my really poor sense of humour but here is a taste of what you can find. This one comes from the Mel Gibson Link.

Mel Columcille Gerard Gibson, AO (born January 3, 1956) is an Academy Award-winning actor, director, producer, screenwriter, alcoholic, anti-Semite, and a dick. After establishing himself as a household name by appearing in such classics as Tequila Sunrise and Bird on a Wire, Gibson went on to direct and star in Braveheart, a film whose most famous scene involves an entire army bending over, lifting up its skirts, and waggling its collected buttocks at another army, which in response stands there with its swords erect, ready to ram deep inside the enemy’s “line.” Not surprisingly, this film is especially popular in American fraternity houses, along with tea bagging, communal showers, and bathroom stalls with no door.

For Gibson’s work on Braveheart, he received the Oscar for Best Mullet. It really was an extraordinary mullet: lush, luxuriant—there was even a little braid woven down the side.
In 2004, Gibson produced and directed The Passion of the Christ, a controversial film portraying the last hours of the final days of some guy. Pretty much the only saving grace of this film is that Gibson himself did not star as this guy. Thanks largely to The Passion’s success—born entirely from the controversy it aroused rather than any real artistic, theatrical, and/or theological merit—Gibson was named #1 on the Forbes most powerful celebrity list, perhaps the most dicktacular list in America. Well, aside from maybe “Richest Person in Los Angeles.” Gibson cracks the Top 50 on that one, too.

Mel Gibson is Australian, though his accent comes and goes, especially during films in which he’s supposed to be an American revolutionary, for instance, or a melancholy Dane. He is perhaps the most odious thing to come from Australia, other than Olivia Newton John. And Chumbawumba. And Outback Steakhouse. And that disgusting black vegetable spread they love so much. In fact, nothing good has ever come from Australia. Okay, maybe Men At Work, but they haven’t released an album in 20 years, and also Nicole Kidman, but she hardly ever gets naked anymore (certainly no bush).

Russell Crowe wishes he were Mel Gibson so bad, it gives him a boner that a dingo couldn’t bite through.

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