Its no secret that Kiwis are the least inspired and most boring supporters in the world. But having been shamed on a supporters bus on the way to the game I feel compelled to share my story.The Paddington (Paddo) were having a test match deal. 1 Ticket, free meal, 1 free beer and a trip to and from the game for $90. We know a bargain when we see one so we rallied some friends and made a day/night of it.
12:00pm – Kicked off the drinking
4:30pm – 12 beers down and were off to the Paddington
5:00pm – Reach the Paddington
5:05pm – Complimentary beer and meal received
5:30pm – Second complimentary beer received (courtesy of one of the lads who scanned the chit and printed them en mass)
6:00pm – Bus arrives
6:05pm – Everybody in the bus
6:06pm – The Barmy army (one third the buses population) start firing up.
6:10pm – Uninspired Kiwi pipes up with “Aaaaaallllll Blaaaacks”
610 and 2 one hundredths pm – Barmy army crush the call and humiliate the bloke who had piped up.
6:12pm – Kiwi supporters now watch as the only guy trying to rally kiwi support is a Canadian here on holiday.
6:15pm – Barmy army question the Canadians parentage and threaten a beating.
6:20pm – There are rumours of someone starting a Haka (oh Christ I think to myself).
6:21pm – Lack of support means the threat of a Haka is scrambled.
6:25pm – This news mustn’t have got to the Canadian as he starts SINGING the Haka with his pregnant girlfriend.
Its at this point I realised the colonists in their meagre numbers have pretty much squashed all NZ resistance. Shouts of “Yeah well we will see whose singing after the game”.
This is where the memory gets a little hazy.
9:30/10:00 pm – The poms seem to have numerous witty songs about how crap they are. Still nothing from the Kiwis
10ish – Someone suggests a Haka (No no no)
10ish – Barmy army start taunting that Camilla Parker is our next queen.
10ish – Barmy army start pole dancing and eyeing up all females on the bus
11ish – Back in the Paddington enjoying our many stolen free beers.
Sunday 3:00 pm – Molerat wakes up feeling very sorry for himself and unable to get to the lounge or feed himself.
3 comments:
Excellenth, having spent many hundreds of nights as a trooper with the Barmy Army It is nice to read the victims account every now and then
They are really bloody good at what they do that’s for sure. In a way I was actually jealous, it would be great to get amongst fans like that.
It seems all we have is a Haka and a long drawn out monotone iteration of our teams name. BORING!
You weren’t the bloke sticking bottle tops up his nose were you? Great show if it was!
No not me. I watched it the pub up here in kerikeri.
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